Encek Gadis

I need help.

Menjadi kuat. Menjadi kuat? kuat.        kuat? L e t i h

There's always a hope, kan? I want to potray how I feel how I fight. Can someone read my mind? I couldnt find the words to say it all. And I can't tell for how much time I have to hold. Or for how long I could stay. I'm tired. Exhausted.

Fate Our Last Night Am I meant to be something? Is this all I'm supposed to see? These questions need answers. Is my life already scripted? Fighting still cannot change the words. These questions need answers. Are we alone? Are we in control? Can we choose to play a different role? Can we change the grave that was dug for us, Or is this the only path to take? Are we meant to fall in love? Are we supposed to find the one? These questions need answers. Are there choices around me, Or am I stuck on a one-way road? These questions need answers. Are we alone? Are we in control? Can we choose to play a different role? Can we change the grave that was dug for us, Or is this the only path to take? Can we change the grave, The grave that was dug for us? Or is there another path to take? Are we alone? Are we in control? Can we choose to play a different role? Can we change the grave that was dug for us, Or is this the only path to take? Songwriters: ...

I watch comedy, I laugh but I cry. This is how its like. Lot of work I couldn't start any.

Only if I can explain how it's like to be me. Having such battle with my inner demons. Will they understand what I choose to show. At this time I miss him. I miss my friends. I miss my family. who I can't tell how it's like to stay fight alone . How far I run, how hard I keep my self distracting. How tough the battle is. It's hurt. Only if they can understand as easy as they make an assumptions, I won't be struggle for this long. I used to be alone and having thing at my pace. I hate to be forced. I'm not normal. Yes I'm not. And I hate to be like one. I want to be me. I want to have full control of myself. I just want to stop thinking about what should I do so I could pleased others. My life is not as calm as you can see. My mind is like busiest road that you may afraid to cross.

I want to keep writing In serious way. There's something that I need to take care of first. Till then, I wish I could write so my head will be lightly. "Kerana kepalaku kantor yang tidak pernah berhenti dan setiap waktunya sibuk."

The real battle is to be in control. I'm trying my best to stay on the track. I'd fall from the top and it was hard to wake up again. It was hurt.

New Year, my resolutions is to survive and alive. Last year, I hit my lowest point. I stay there for so long. It was hard. This  year, I wish I could climb up again. And leave this toxic place. Ignore, and put my self first. I need to be strong, because that's the only way that I have.