#1012

Only if I can explain how it's like to be me. Having such battle with my inner demons. Will they understand what I choose to show.

At this time I miss him. I miss my friends. I miss my family. who I can't tell how it's like to stay fight alone .
How far I run, how hard I keep my self distracting. How tough the battle is.
It's hurt.

Only if they can understand as easy as they make an assumptions, I won't be struggle for this long.

I used to be alone and having thing at my pace. I hate to be forced. I'm not normal. Yes I'm not. And I hate to be like one. I want to be me. I want to have full control of myself. I just want to stop thinking about what should I do so I could pleased others.

My life is not as calm as you can see. My mind is like busiest road that you may afraid to cross.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

minimalis

mungkin faktor usia. berinjak ke angka dua puluh-an ni otak aku pemikiran aku dan jiwa aku semakin memberontak berontak atas rasa kecewa dengan apa yang aku ada. tak bukan sudut materialisnya. tapi tentang diri sendiri. betapa terlimitasinya tingkah aku kurangnya nilai keilmuan aku segalanya minimal aku simpati sama diri sendiri.
Read more

notepad, nota pelekat cinta kau 3

Image
“How is your day Tia?” soal Haridz sebaik sahaja melabuhkan punggung duduk di kerusi di sisi kanan Tia. Dah 3 hari dia di tahan di hospital ni dah bosan gila dah. Bila la nak sihat aku nak balik la bosan duduk sini nasib baik Arid ada datang hari-hari. Dialah yang jaga aku 24 jam. Tak adalah 24 jam sangat lebih 12 jam dia tidur je. Hari ni Haridz datang petang sebab dia ada kelas. Semalam dia ponteng. Kawan serumah ada jugak datang melawat tapi aku faham diaorang sibuk datang sekejap je. Alah lagipun bukannya teruk sangat sakit aku demam je. Makan panadol boleh sihat. Rina tu lah kecoh sangat bagitahu Haridz tengok dah kena duduk hospital plus lecture free daripada Haridz. Mamat tu kalau dah bagi lecture tujuh hari tujuh malam pun tak berhenti naik bernanah telinga. Tapi dalam pada tu syukur ada kawan macam Rina dan Haridz sebab ambil berat tentang aku. Paling kurang ada jugak yang nak kongsi kasih sayang. Aha! Bunyi macam gedik. Lantakkan. “Weyh aku tanya nie macam kau hari ni?” suara
Read more

change

today, yesterday, tomorrow will never be same day change weather change time change people change heart change mind change. we change so, i me you we'll be different either good or bad either smile or cry either happy or sad life must go on.. we'll be better all is well
Read more