#764
Dear you,
My life had turns upside down. I'm not the girl who deserve you. I'm full of flaws. How I wish I could tell you how I feel, how hard it is to bear everything alone. To fall for you without a reason. Only if I know the reason behind it, so I could erase and destroy them. It's been eleventh years since we met for the first time and almost 5 years I'm having this thought on you. It's wrong I know. I begged to HIM for a help. I just want to clear my mind.
Frankly I don't solely believe in love or relationship. I'm looking for a friend and a companion. Who I can talk with beyond the topic of marriage or love. I've been living alone for more than 4 years right now. I'm used to do things on my own. But sometimes when my mind get wild with thoughts I wish I have someone to talk to. Talking about such random things. I love to learn as I know how hard it is to be ignorant. To left behind. I've been working hard so I could stand on my own. May be that empty space from being alone is the reason I let you get into it even without you willingly to or even knowing it. I'm sorry its all my fault for being ridiculous. Or maybe because I feel you are the one who I can share about my thought. But I'm far below your par.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for all my imaginary thoughts. I'm working my ass off to let you go, to forget about you, to focus on my things. But, it's hard. I don't know how they start and how to stop. I'm so sorry.
From now on, I will keep holding on and survive. Working on distract my mind and looking for my way of life. I just want to live my life and define my own happiness. If that means I'm going to be alone forever, I don't need to be desperately normal, I want to have my own life. I'm tired of living to fulfill others need and please others. I want to own my life my breath my world.
My life had turns upside down. I'm not the girl who deserve you. I'm full of flaws. How I wish I could tell you how I feel, how hard it is to bear everything alone. To fall for you without a reason. Only if I know the reason behind it, so I could erase and destroy them. It's been eleventh years since we met for the first time and almost 5 years I'm having this thought on you. It's wrong I know. I begged to HIM for a help. I just want to clear my mind.
Frankly I don't solely believe in love or relationship. I'm looking for a friend and a companion. Who I can talk with beyond the topic of marriage or love. I've been living alone for more than 4 years right now. I'm used to do things on my own. But sometimes when my mind get wild with thoughts I wish I have someone to talk to. Talking about such random things. I love to learn as I know how hard it is to be ignorant. To left behind. I've been working hard so I could stand on my own. May be that empty space from being alone is the reason I let you get into it even without you willingly to or even knowing it. I'm sorry its all my fault for being ridiculous. Or maybe because I feel you are the one who I can share about my thought. But I'm far below your par.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for all my imaginary thoughts. I'm working my ass off to let you go, to forget about you, to focus on my things. But, it's hard. I don't know how they start and how to stop. I'm so sorry.
From now on, I will keep holding on and survive. Working on distract my mind and looking for my way of life. I just want to live my life and define my own happiness. If that means I'm going to be alone forever, I don't need to be desperately normal, I want to have my own life. I'm tired of living to fulfill others need and please others. I want to own my life my breath my world.
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p/s: Apa khabar? Lama tak berblogwalking di sini.