#909
Orang cakap untunglah kerja kerajaan, untunglah jadi cikgu gaji banyak, banyak cuti, masa kerja singkat. Banyak kemudahan. Kerja senang dapat, belajar tak payah bayar hutang. Untunglah... Untunglah...dunia dapat akhirat dapat.
Yang tak dinampak kerana tanggungjawab yang tergantung di kedua bahu ini. Kerana antara amanah negara dan tanggungjawab keluarga. Kerana semuanya ini, aku bukan aku lagi yang sama. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since the day they cakap untunglah....
It is not aku tak bersyukur dengan rezeki. Aku tahu berapa ramai lagi yang nak ada dekat tempat aku ada sekarang. Ramai lagi yang menganggur. Ramai lagi yang punya sijil gantung sahaja. Aku tahu.
It's not about others. It's all about me. My past my present my future. How it was like. Aku bukan aku. Bukan untuk aku.
How I fight the battle, how I struggle alone, crawling on my bed, soaked my pillow. Screaming out loud and hold my hand onto my mouth. Insomniac nights that drained me out. The placebo pills that been taken for quite some times.
I'm not living, I'm just breathing. All the voice that been kept inside. The mind that won't stop and quiet.
It's hard, It's hurt, It's tiring.
But still I wish I could meet the new hope so I can meet my future.
......
My dear future...
We can never ensure what will be, who we will became.
But it is from how we are doing in the meantime.
Dear my future.
Whoever you are for the next more years from now it all because you had broken. You had turn to pieces. And you glued the scatter back.
Yang tak dinampak kerana tanggungjawab yang tergantung di kedua bahu ini. Kerana antara amanah negara dan tanggungjawab keluarga. Kerana semuanya ini, aku bukan aku lagi yang sama. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since the day they cakap untunglah....
It is not aku tak bersyukur dengan rezeki. Aku tahu berapa ramai lagi yang nak ada dekat tempat aku ada sekarang. Ramai lagi yang menganggur. Ramai lagi yang punya sijil gantung sahaja. Aku tahu.
It's not about others. It's all about me. My past my present my future. How it was like. Aku bukan aku. Bukan untuk aku.
How I fight the battle, how I struggle alone, crawling on my bed, soaked my pillow. Screaming out loud and hold my hand onto my mouth. Insomniac nights that drained me out. The placebo pills that been taken for quite some times.
I'm not living, I'm just breathing. All the voice that been kept inside. The mind that won't stop and quiet.
It's hard, It's hurt, It's tiring.
But still I wish I could meet the new hope so I can meet my future.
......
My dear future...
We can never ensure what will be, who we will became.
But it is from how we are doing in the meantime.
Dear my future.
Whoever you are for the next more years from now it all because you had broken. You had turn to pieces. And you glued the scatter back.
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